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Not one-night-stand scenarios, but longer-term connections. These have included what turned into a one-year affair with a single woman, a three-year affair with a close friend of my wife, a seven-month affair with a married coworker, and now a fairly serious four-months-and-counting relationship with a woman who approached me on Instagram. I love her, we get along great, and the sex is good—if I wasn't such a lying piece of shit, you could even say we make a pretty good team. Instead, women who knew I was in an "exclusive" relationship have approached me.Or maybe you're the wrong kind of sadist: the un-self-aware emotional sadist.

On the other hand, I have been deceitful and manipulative for almost my entire adult life. Part of my motivation for writing is that I am particularly attached to the woman I'm having an affair with now, and both of us fantasize about being together openly. And these women didn't "turn into" one-year, three-year, seven-month, and four-months-and-counting affairs on their own.

On the one hand, I do not regret my time with any of these women. We are also very socially and financially entangled. And if so, I need help considering an exit strategy. It doesn't "just keep happening," ASSHOLE, you keep doing it.

But on the off chance it would crush your wife to be told everything, just tell her about Ms. After a few tense years, we started couples therapy.

During therapy, my husband revealed that he was never in favor of the openness.

But almost immediately, he began talking about how he wanted to hook up with others. I feel tremendous guilt for even thinking about splitting up, so I keep hoping we'll stumble on the thing that will work for us.

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